How mentoring works and what to look for
You do not need to walk alone…
Finding a mentor and working with them is a great way of growing personally and professionally. You are benefitting from another person’s experience and expertise, get their insight and advice, and basically have a sounding board for your ideas. What’s not to love?
Sounds a bit like coaching? Welll. Yes and no. I mean, a lot of coaches out there will tell you that’s exactly what they’re doing. And I’m standing on the sidelines and will applaud them for their work and effort.
Personally, I do see my job as a coach a bit differently: when you work with me, you’ll get more, namely you’ll get insights into yourself. If you have topic that you want to work on, we will spend a some time or even a significant amount of time understanding that topic, see what you need to do, which resources you’ll need and where you will find them, and lastly how to implement.
Especially the first two items might need a bit of digging and that’s where the coaching tools will come in. My experience does not matter that much, because we’re talking about you, not me. Of course, if you feel like hearing my OPINION – I will voice that, if I have one based on my expertise and experience. If I don’t, I’ll let you know. I do realise that getting another person’s viewpoint can be both beneficial and too much depending on circumstances, especially when we’ve already dug deep. As you are the expert of your life, you get to say whether you want that viewpoint now, or later, or maybe not at all. No harm done, you came with the intent of finding YOUR answer, not mine.
The same goes for resources and implementation. I think one of the harder parts of one’s journey is identifying where we need outside help and where to find it. Sometimes these resources are financial, some are emotional, and some are finding someone with specific experience and or expertise.
That’s where mentoring enters the picture. I see a mentor as someone who can take the role of advisor, well-meaning critic, role model, or business coach, or all of the above.
I also believe that despite a difference in experience levels, mentoring should always happen on a level playing field. It’s never meant to be patronising or belittling. In fact, especially as a woman, this is a risk in entering a mentoring relationship in certain industries. I strongly encourage you to address this if you feel “less than” and ultimately to step away politely. If you feel you can’t do this physically without endangering your career, here’s another little fact – do it mentally: its not necessary to act on what happening in mentoring meetings – the decision on what to take to heart and what to leave is yours and yours only!
If you’re working with me in coaching, all of the above is “part of package”. Nevertheless, sometimes it’s interesting and helpful to get an additional perspective. So of course you’re free to seek another mentor the same as I welcome people looking solely for mentoring!
Feel free to book a consultation!
Here’s more on change…
I totally get how paying a compliment will make us feel better – us as the ones paying the compliment. And I also get how the assumption comes about that the recipient will feel better, too. After all, we are full of good intentions – and intend to “spread the love and positivity”.
How do we make sure that the recipient will indeed feel the love - and not resentment, anger or worse? Let's find out!