Blog
Let’s sit and chat:
On change, visions, and (toxic) behaviour
Take 15 minutes, a coffee (or whatever you like), and browse, peruse, and enjoy at leisure.
Thoughts, tipps & tricks, infos on topics around change.
*just FYI: this BLOG is without any claim to being (scientifically) exhaustive
All Blog Posts
On giving (sparkling) compliments
I totally get how paying a compliment will make us feel better – us as the ones paying the compliment. And I also get how the assumption comes about that the recipient will feel better, too. After all, we are full of good intentions – and intend to “spread the love and positivity”.
How do we make sure that the recipient will indeed feel the love - and not resentment, anger or worse? Let's find out!
Aligning personal boundaries (part 4)
When people meet – it's highly likely that boundaries will meet, too. In a perfect world, they would slot together like puzzle pieces, I imagine. Unfortunately, the world is often less than perfect, and the automatic slotting will remain wishful thinking. Some careful alignment dances are probably necessary. So what does that mean?
Respecting boundaries (part 3)
The thing with boundaries is – there’s always the other side of the coin. Someone communicates THEIR boundaries and suddenly you find yourself on the side of them that smarts. AKA the outside. So now what?
Communicating boundaries (part 2)
You have defined your boundaries on a topic? Great! Now, how do you communicate? There are two aspects that drive your communication: clarity and nearness to the recipients, and they are pretty compatible!
Rethinking personal boundaries - an invitation (part 1)
There are often circumstances where the sheer mention of boundaries makes people think of fences, walls, moats…. Now – quick question for you: will you walk into every house that’s not locked up tight? Probably not, am I right?
So how to handle (personal) boundaries? Let’s have a look - or more.
It’s YOUR coaching – five key success factors
With so much time, energy, and yes, money spent on coaching - how you can you make sure that you’ll make the most of it?
Here’s my five key success factors that you can check BEFORE starting for the best possible impact.
A summer of coaching – it’s actually a good time!
It’s easier to reflect on choices, dreams, and your daily life when we have the emotional and mental bandwidth to do so. Which is why it might be preferable doing it at a time when life does slow down and gives a lot of both small and big opportunities to recharge at the same time.
I propose a summer of coaching!
The only way is onwards – in most cases
The eternal question – does it take more effort to resist change or to embrace change? Apart from the fact that I personally think change is exciting, I also think that energy should be invested wisely. And what better way of doing so than embracing new skills while learning from the past, not living it?
hAbItS – the tiny tricky beasts (Part 2)
Habits - the beasts that seem to sabotage our lives… They can make life both easy and miserable. Change seams insurmountable? A quick reality check of the average expectations (and promises out there) and what that means for you.
How mentoring works and what to look for
Finding a mentor and working with them is a great way of growing personally and professionally. You are benefitting from another person’s experience and expertise, get their insight and advice, and basically have a sounding board for your ideas. What can you expect?
They didn’t mean that - or did they?
“But they didn’t mean it that” – hands down one of the most frustrating reactions by third parties when you are struggling with what feels very toxic to you. I don’t blame you if you are NOT feeling seen. Because you aren’t. Neither by the person you’re frustrated about nor by the one you are talking to. Let’s have a look.
How about dreams - do you follow them?
I said earlier and I stick to what I said: change is about dreams (and some other things, too, ok ok). And yet, dreams seem to make us uncomfortable as adults. Why is that, how can we overcome this and how do our dreams lead to change?
Books, books, books - The brave athlete
How can you resist a book that tells you about being an athlete by pointing out you are in fact reading that book so there has to be at least part athlete in you? Spoiler alert - I couldn’t…
Does competence interfere with change?
Conscious change implies being aware of where you’re at. The “4-stages-of-competence”-model supports by indicating what needs to happen through learning. For an individual, learning and change will likely go hand in hand, while for a team, the implications are less clear-cut, especially when experts become involved.
Do you plan change?
Planning change, yes or no? The simple question that triggers such an ambivalent answer. In a nutshell: YES to planning the PARAMETERS of change and NO to planning the OUTCOME of change. Why? Read on…
How do you deal with warped advice?
What do you do when feedback and advice are not only unsolicited but also mostly beneficial to the person giving said advice. How do you filter, what do you take to heart? I’m talking about your choices and options.
Why Coaching Strategy?
Coaching Strategy: I am convinced it’s time to rethink the approach to strategy. I am also confident that the coaching approach is a viable one in this case too, and might increase communication, efficiency, and implementation.
On the why of things – when it’s helpful and when it’s not
Is developing a vision and a goal the same as Simon Sinkens “Start with WHY” and “Find your WHY”? Personally, I think that’s only part of the game and not necessarily helpful in all situations. Here’s why.
About me - behind the scenes
Three snippets about me and some more background info. In case you’re wondering what I will be bringing to the table and who that person is that’s going to sit with you…
Belief systems – our internal sign-posts
True or false?: our belief systems act as internalised signposts. And the same as those in real life, some lead us to nowhere, some are glaring warmings, and some point out amazing shortcuts to success. Which is which, and how do we get more of supportive ones?