Blog
Let’s sit and chat:
On change, visions, and (toxic) behaviour
Take 15 minutes, a coffee (or whatever you like), and browse, peruse, and enjoy at leisure.
Thoughts, tipps & tricks, infos on topics around change.
*just FYI: this BLOG is without any claim to being (scientifically) exhaustive
All Blog Posts
On giving (sparkling) compliments
I totally get how paying a compliment will make us feel better – us as the ones paying the compliment. And I also get how the assumption comes about that the recipient will feel better, too. After all, we are full of good intentions – and intend to “spread the love and positivity”.
How do we make sure that the recipient will indeed feel the love - and not resentment, anger or worse? Let's find out!
Respecting boundaries (part 3)
The thing with boundaries is – there’s always the other side of the coin. Someone communicates THEIR boundaries and suddenly you find yourself on the side of them that smarts. AKA the outside. So now what?
Communicating boundaries (part 2)
You have defined your boundaries on a topic? Great! Now, how do you communicate? There are two aspects that drive your communication: clarity and nearness to the recipients, and they are pretty compatible!
Rethinking personal boundaries - an invitation (part 1)
There are often circumstances where the sheer mention of boundaries makes people think of fences, walls, moats…. Now – quick question for you: will you walk into every house that’s not locked up tight? Probably not, am I right?
So how to handle (personal) boundaries? Let’s have a look - or more.
Forgiveness – does it NEED to be given?
A question that seems to come up quite often in coachings that touch on non-positive relationships is – is there a right to forgiveness? Or even an automatic feel-better guarantee for all parties?
Social media seem to suggest that forgiving the person who hurt you is the save-all and comes with an automated feel-better-instantly guarantee. So what about it?
Notorious non-apologies and what they have in common
I assume we’ve all been on the receiving end of one too many of the so-called apologies that actually made us feel less than better. Sometimes they’re just a tiny nuisance, easy to overlook.
So let’s have a look at some examples.
They didn’t mean that - or did they?
“But they didn’t mean it that” – hands down one of the most frustrating reactions by third parties when you are struggling with what feels very toxic to you. I don’t blame you if you are NOT feeling seen. Because you aren’t. Neither by the person you’re frustrated about nor by the one you are talking to. Let’s have a look.
How do you deal with warped advice?
What do you do when feedback and advice are not only unsolicited but also mostly beneficial to the person giving said advice. How do you filter, what do you take to heart? I’m talking about your choices and options.
Help - is this person a narcissist?
If it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it might be a duck. Dealing with toxic behaviour does not need a diagnosis, but courage, know how, energy, and tools.
On the impact of narcissists
Being confronted with toxic behaviour does not equal being a victim. Find powerful ways of reacting to narcissism and toxic behaviour.