It’s YOUR coaching – five key success factors
Getting the most impact out of your coaching
Coaching, the thing that seems to be en vogue, therapy without the therapy part, mental self-care. What’s not to like?
So you’ve taken the plunge and decided to go ahead and try it for yourself. Maybe you’ve seen the staggering amount of approaches, and “schools”, and also, quite frankly, prices. And maybe now your stumped as to what you really need and how to get the most out of coaching when you’ll be spending a considerable amount of energy, and time, and yes, money on this malarkey.
So here are my FIVE key success factors that you can influence before you even start!
ONE – your own energy level
In short – the more energy resources you have (and that aren’t already tied up in friends, family, job, hobbies), the easier it will be. Lower energy levels are not conducive to finding good solutions. At all. On the contrary, these interactions start out with the wish for someone please just giving them a solution. That’s when all the self-help tidbits in books and social media come into play. The thing is, like with clothing, this will only fit them and their life just so. At that point, more often than not, it can be the only thing between utter exhaustion and stemming the flow, and we’ll resort to them until there is a modicum of energy resources built back up.
Having the energy level and the state of mind to reflect on what you want to do and how – that’s when you come to your own custom-fitted solutions.
And that’s why I’ll always recommend doing it not when it hurts, but when you have the time and (mental and emotional) resources. Think of it as mental injury prevention instead of healing an actual injury.
If you are interested in more thoughts on this, you can find a blog article on mental resources and good timing here [insert link /blog/a-summer-of-coaching].
TWO – the vibe check
A professional coach will always offer a free vibe check before you commit. They may frame it as a pre-consult, hcatting about your topic, expectations, limits, and ultimately time and money. AND it’s always a vibe check.
Take it, and make the most out of it. Yes, it’s a possibility for a coach to screen prospective clients. And it’s a possibility for you to screen potential coaches:
How do they interact with you? Do you feel taken seriously? Do they leave you the room to explore your own thoughts? Do they listen? If you feel talked to or even talked down to, taught, one of many, in short: not really important enough for the coach to be with you and only you in that interaction, consider stepping away: a good coach won’t teach without explicit consent. They will interact on a level playing field. They may guide the process and leave the topic and solution to you and your thoughts. They will give you room to grow!
THREE – the location
There’s several aspects around this that basically will boil down to two: where does the coach work and can you see yourself thriving in that setting? AND how do YOU prefer to do your introspective and creative thinking? Can you do it at one place, do you need several?
Does the coach have a fixed office? Do they work online? Are they flexible?
In the case of a fixed office? Do you like it? Is it somewhere you can see yourself thinking creatively – because essentially that’s what working with a coach will boil down to, quite a bit of reflection as well as creative and innovative solution-oriented thinking. If you feel hemmed in – talk about it, and if there’s no reaction – maybe reconsider.
Online – is that your thing? A lot of us are more or less used to it by now, due to WFH in the past years. Same thing here: do you tolerate it, or can you actively work with it? And if you like it – does the coach? Can they offer more than just face to face talking on screen, have they used they various coaching tools online, too?
If they are flexible – what is on offer? As an example: I don’t have a coaching office, as that feels too “doctor’s office” to me as a coach. I have a couple of room solutions with different vibes that I’ve tested and can offer in various coworking spaces. I also do online sessions on the regular. And I go for walks with some clients, have coffee chats with others, and go to some clients offices or even homes for coaching sessions. If you were to work with me, I’d offer a couple of options based on my impression, and you’d always be free to ask for something different if needed. I’d also honestly tell you whether a setting has coachability potential or not (same as for the topic in fact, which leads us to the next point).
FOUR – your topic
It may seem obvious, and yet: make sure your topic is yours! I can see the question marks – why?
A question I like to ask at the beginning of a coaching interaction: who will benefit from your work? Is it you – and directly? Or is it someone else? All too often, people will think they need to change to get a promotion (or at least less criticism) on the job, please their partner or family or maybe because they think “it’s expected”. All of the above are valid reasons for seeking out coaching – IF you feel a direct benefit from the result. And yes, that benefit may be an emotional one, too. If you feel that you are only doing it for the benefit of others – my experience tells me that whatever we will work on, and whatever solution you will come up with, there’s a high chance that you’ll avoid the actual implementation and doing. Which will probably increase frustration at yourself, for being unable to do the thing, for having spent a significant amount of time, money, and energy on not doing money, and ultimately at the coach for failing to support you. My advice: don’t start. And that’s why I ask my initial question. One part of coachability is doing it with an intrinsic motivation, that is you WANT to benefit from it!
And last FIVE – be open and selective at the same time
WHAT? What’s this now? Let’s break this down:
Be open. It’s great if you already have an idea of what you want to achieve, and what you want to work on. A good coach will challenge you, maybe invite you to seek out more options, and sometimes give you some input, too. Take it! Run with it together with your coach, mull it over, paint a picture, dare to dream. Don’t discount it just because you think you’ve already made up your mind. It’s highly likely you sought out a highly competent professional who does this for a living and knows what they’re doing.
And be selective: Ultimately, you’re still the expert of your life. And as such, you’re the only person in your coaching relationship who can judge your levels of energy and commitment. It’s a bit like the question if you need to take all feedback and advice or not (spoiler alert – you don’t! your life, your choice. Read more here, if you feel up to it, it’s been a long one today.).
So that’s five key success factors to make a coaching yours!
Here’s the bonus for maximum impact: FUN!
Here’s more on the “how to”…
“make it smaller” – can we do that with a coaching offering?
We are used to seeing objects of different sizes with different purposes. So why should an in-depth coaching approach be shrinkable - IF you've had an extensive vibe check and listed your goals and topics. Read to find my FIVE KEY POINTS.