Let’s assume you’re running a business. I bet you’ve been confronted with the “the customer is always right”-thing! Variations include “le client n'a jamais tort  ('the customer is never wrong'), and  “der Kunde ist König” ('the customer is king'). Without going into a full historical treatise, this is a retail and restaurant principle stemming from the 1900s when business practices were shady and consumer protection non-existent. If you are responsible for the (financial) success of a business, it absolutely is your prerogative to decide which demands you are going to accept and which you will not.

The “will not accept”-part might feel tricky, though, when it requires diplomatic finesse. And while this looks like a variation of the previous example on quickly doing something (for free) – it’s not, the biggest differences being in the clearly agreed upon payment part and the level of emotional connection - likely less. For a refresher on emotional connection, feel free to hop over to my post on communicating boundaries.

Generally speaking, I’d invite you to explore for yourself before answering: What are YOUR reasons for saying no (they don’t need to be communicated, it’s just nice to be clear yourself)

• Is it a time issue?

• You don’t like the work involved? (no judgement, that’s actually perfectly reasonable)

• The work required is not within your area of expertise

• It’s definitely not within the scope that you initially agreed upon – which a. you might do if you sign an additional agreement (including additional revenue) or b. nopity nope, not happening.

• It’s a morally / ethically or even legally grey area.

Your stance on these questions will drive the way you answer.

Let’s have a look:

I’m unavailable for this type of work.

Clear and concise. You don’t need to give a reason. However, in case there might be grey areas involved: may I advise on researching your legal obligations, too? In some countries you are obliged to report on not-legal ongoings.

I cannot work on this right now, lets revisit in … [timeframe]

Do this if your no is really only based on your current availability. If that’s just a pretext – it might backfire spectacularly and that’s not a good look.

That’s a request that (unfortunately) I can’t fulfil.

Clear and open. You do not need to give an explanation. In fact, explanations often sound like a bad conscience speaking and will invite pushback!

I don’t typically do this.

Something that I’ve heard quite often actually. And guess what, there are two outcomes: You might of off the hook. Or – hear me out – you have the chance to charge quite lot more than originally quoted. Consider it being damages for pain and suffering if there’s a reason you usually do not do this type of work.

That’s outside my area of expertise!

Be prepared to give a recommendation – if you can AND want to do so.

Look – I’ll happily recommend an expert on this / have you tried talking to ….

Yes, you ARE evading the no and throwing your client off your scent. That’s ok. Be aware to only recommend people who’d be willing to take over.

That’s it on the business owner / responsible for a business part. Next up: the boss…

PS Everything on boundaries can be found here

Here’s more on boundaries