40 ways of saying NO - Step 6 (the boss): “Hey, I know this is not your job, …”
Not your job? How to handle untimely requests …
Cue the request that is outside working hours / your expertise / job description or other - take your pick. Now what?
Generally speaking, this is a tricky one, trickier than the business owner / responsible. And it’s one where we often say yes. Because let’s face it, this is the person that holds our livelihood in their hands, isn’t it?
If this boss or manager really is the only person to decide your fate in a specific company – you’re absolutely right in treading carefully. However, I’d invite you to explore the situation further: are they the only decision maker? If so, how locked in are you, what are alternatives. If nothing else comes up immediately, there’s always the possibility to comply short term and look elsewhere midterm.
Some more general questions: Is this task important? Is it urgent? Is it part of your job description? (getting your boss’s dry cleaning – looking at a movie here – might not be either of these). Are you the only person who can do it, for whatever reason, or are you a convenient person for the task?
And last but not least, would you like to do it? Again, no judgement. Can you do so in the assigned time frame – are you available or are you setting yourself up for failure?
I’m surprised – I didn’t think this was in my scope of work. Can we talk about it?
It’s not yet a no – I does leave a door open for discussion. At the same time, the ball is in your superior’s corner.
With all due respect – I do not feel comfortable doing this.
This is already a no, and it leaves a smaller door open. You might for example be convinced to add to your skills and scope of work through training and / or supervision which might be beneficial to you in the longer run, depending on context (and pay).
I do see the importance of this task – and I don’t see the urgency. Cen we complete this until …[timeframe] and I’ll see that it’s done until then.
Several things are happening here: you are validating the topic and you do not necessarily agree on working arbitrarily outside your regular hours. You also gain back autonomy within your area of responsibility.
I’m sorry, I’m unavailable tonight / this weekend.
If you feel that you are absolutely torn apart – do say NO. Not having a say at all about when you work is not a sign of a modern workplace.
As far as I understand this task, it is outside my job description. Therefore, I do not see me doing this.
A very clear no. Also, this applies to things that are both above and below your paygrade. If you agree, you might set yourself up for either failure (above your paygrade and no training or supervision) or demotion (agreeing to do jobs below your paygrade). And before you say that’s not going to happen – I’ve seen it happen – in highly respected work environments, unfortunately.
I see the urgency and I can’t give it my full attention. Can we pull in …[colleague/subcontractor/etc.]
You show both commitment, a boundary, and a solution in nice package.
Anything else? Let’s discuss in the comments!
Now – is there anything trickier than work boundaries? I’d say yes: relationship boundaries. There usually is a much higher emotional involvement which translates into tricky boundaries…
So let’s move to the next step where we say no to a person that’s close to you.
PS Everything on boundaries can be found here
Here’s more on boundaries
Let’s be honest: Nobody is going to give a medal either for NOT setting boundaries. It’s likely that while you revel in the feeling of being universally liked, people will subtly first and then not so secretly be walking all over your place. Ascertaining your place (in the world) aka setting boundaries means making the space for you and your personal development.
If you want to pursue the path of setting boundaries – how do you do it?